I think I keep doing things that make me feel down.
Or, at least, .... idk. When other things happen TO me, I take the skills I have learned and work through it. Life is good! I just have to stay away from things I know will bring me down, I guess. Focus on my goals, the little things that will add up. At this point I cannot tell if I am isolating myself or if others are just as unwilling to contact me. I think it's just a mix of both. Dialectics, y'know?
My best friend called my childish/immature the other day, and not even in an "insulting" way, she just kind of stated it as fact. It really got to me for a moment, but I actually worked on it. This is one of the first big instances that I feel pride, as I actually did what I was supposed to.. Excited for the future. :>) I still have habits that I should work on eliminating, as well as some that I should build, but I think these past weeks of learning have really been good for me.
Another thing is that my parents made me do community college for a year, only to say that they now don't fear for me going to University.... Slightly aggrivating, but understandable, I guess. I can't change what happened, so I'll just try to make the most of my time. Trying to transfer credits will be a pain, but it's all a part of the process.
Anyways, I gotta think of a CTL for later tonight... I don't really know what to say. Maybe it should be starting a book over the weekend? I wish to read, I just haven't actually taken the time to do so yet... but I want to.
Above all, I am excited for the future. I no longer want to sit and simmer in feelings and make myself feel worse. I am getting better.
Written July 28th, 2021