Yesterday was interesting. Someone asked if they could come over this morning, just because, and I said sure. Didn't really ask, just said "are you busy tomorrow, i want to stop by" and all that. So I don't really say anything, but they say "oh nevermind change of plans, could I come over tonight around 10?" i said I would ask my roomate and then I would let them know if they are okay with it or not.

My roomate gets home. I ask. They say yes. I text them. I hear a knock on my door almost as soon as the message was sent.

They see my hair (shaved), they rub my head. I said that it is okay to do it, but next time to ask. They said that they got excited. I said it is okay to do, but next time to ask, and that excitement does not supersede boundaries. Later they put their head on my shoulder to ... look at my computer. I am fine with the computer part, I don't really have anything to hide. The entire ordeal just made me really heavily uncomfortable. I don't want them to touch me. I don't want them to touch me.

At some point while being over they said "oh haha i just saw ur text" and i said it was rlly obvious because of how quickly they were here

They didn't wait and see if it was okay to come over. they kept touching me. i don't like repeating myself. they have already expressed romantic interest in me

They make me so uncomfortable. My roomate says an explanation for their behavior is that in their friend group, incuding my roomate, and the roomate who was here before me, touching was very common and okay to do without asking. Which, good for them, woohoo! not for me. don't touch me. oh my god.

I kept trying to explain to my roomate that it made me uncomfortable but all i could feel at the moment was frustration and slight anger that i wasn't being listened to (by the visitor, not my roomate). I almost feel bad saying those things about their friend, but fuck that! my roomate isn't even good at validating either. i don't like that person. i don't want to be over when they are.

Does this constitute as vagueposting? yeah. I don't want to spread my business online and just drop names.. but i also need to get the emotion out. I don't know if he knows my website name so just in case i won't actually upload this one. just write my feelings down.

written april 15 2022