I wrote out a whole thing for this html file i guess.. but i forgot to save it LOL saw it flash before my eyes before it was gone forever. No regrets, have no idea what I was talking about.
Told my mom about my dad drinking again (she already knew) and attempting to hit on/groom/manipulate my roomate (on their 18th birthday) (she did not know). He is so slimy. I genuinely do not like him. I don't think I could say I hate him, but I've always, ALWAYS, been creeped out by him. Always. Asked my mom to get a general timeline, asked her how long I've been creeped out by him. She said since elementary school. One day he came to a father-lunch event with my elementary school, and he put his hand on my back (a common gesture that still, to this day, creeps me out. I will ask him to not do it someday. Tell him to not touch me. I can't bring myself to do anything about it except for try my hardest to not exist when it does) and I "freaked out". My mom didn't really say it lightly, but she didn't really give any other details. I didn't ask for more. Just the bare acknowledgement that it has been happening for that long was enough for me. I also told her that my brother invalidated me as I told him about the situation from 6 days ago. He said, "if it makes you feel any better, the first one was a wifebeater and my dad [appraised him and hated, despised, the other step children]". It didn't help. In the past he used to say that I was lucky to have my dad, one that cared, that tried to be in my life. He would try to buy my love. He would try to silence me. It hurts still. I told my mom about it and she said "you're lucky to have an alcoholic, [can't remember, redacted], father?". It was validating. She knew. She knew that he was bad. She apologized for trying to get back with him. I am grateful. He makes me so sad.
That's all. he makes me sad. I am going to write what i just did on my diary. that's for sure to last 30-sum-odd years, and I have no idea how long neocities will be up.
Written April 18th, 2022.