I don't really know what to do. I have been diagnosed with something but I don't know. I don't know if I want to share because I am scared of people that I am no longer associating with looking at this and speaking and theorizing about me behind my back. Making fun of me. I don't think it's that far of a reach. They have done it before to people they didn't like.
I just want to be me. I don't want to be in the eyes of speculation, of the public, etc. I just want to be a ghost. I want to be invisible.
I guessed it a few days before my exam. Got into a falling out with friends, and now they aren't my friends. There are very few people who I feel I can be myself around, or at least, DON'T feel judged by. I avoided prom. I avoided school. I avoided a lot of things out of fear. There is one person right now that I don't feel judged at all by. I really appreciate them. I also don't feel judged by my roomate, but it feels a bit different because I have a lot of suspicion of them due to living with them and them being able to steal from me if they really wanted to.
I kind of wish I were more outgoing, but I also don't. I like trying new things sometimes, but I know I get exhausted really easily so I just don't do a lot else other than what I know I can do.
I just feel so anxious all of the time
I have definitely made mistakes
Listening to She Had The World by Panic At the Disco