Recently things have been good.
Three nights ago I smoked my roomates coworker up (we are also practically neighbors) and met them, then last night went to their place and smoked there. Felt bad that I didn't bring anything, though. I took a really big hit on accident and got too high. Didn't green out, but almost did! Debating if I still want to smoke or not. I just do it just because, there isn't any special reason. I like it sometimes, and sometimes I don't. Those times were my first time hitting a bong LOL, I like it a lot more. I might get one with this paycheck I have.. :] excited. I wanna get one of those cutesy heart shaped ones. People may call it girly and stupid, but I think it's important to have things that you genuinely enjoy in life. Be free. Be cringe. It is life of happiness.
Today I joined a voicechat in a public discord server for the first time.... nervewracking!! not really, but at first it was. someone made (what i now know was a joke) that they don't think anyone likes the server and I said that I did. Not like other girls and quirky joke from ... you guessed it! another girl. Idk, I never really liked those jokes. I always got them all the time, even though I was never the target of the original ... meaning of it. I thought that people did that against girls who pitted against other girls in order to make themselves seem better. Hoping I didn't do that, but also fuck it fuck it even though I have debilitating anxiety I will NOT let it ruin my spirit! I don't want it to.
I think I just have Sensitive Bitch Personality Disorder (SBPD) so I can't handle playful banter LMFAO. I also cannot tell when people are serious or not so that doesn't help. Anyways baby steps are key, proud of myself for trying something new.