I don't know exactly where to start.
I guess I will just state what's on my mind. I used to be paranoid that people would see these things and associate them with me, and I do want to be mindful of my digital footprint, but I'll just go from what I feel in my heart. I think I'm getting back on here because I need a hobby. I am getting into self-improvement and the like, maybe I will start this website over from scratch. I want something fun. I am considering getting a thinkpad and learning to run Linux on it. I also have some dumbbells at home that I have been doing for a bit. I hope with this new job that I am going to get, I will be able to live on my own. Maybe I will move in with a friend, but I don't think it is something real. In most events, living with other people hasn't really turned out well for me. Maybe I am the common denominator, but I am learning boundaries now (how to have them for myself). I think while it could be said that navigating real world applications is a good way to assert them, removing yourself from unnecessary conflict could also be a good way to heal the heart. I don't know. I want to use this website healthily, just create a digital collage and space that feels a reflection of my soul. I like old-timey technology and dated ways of living. It feels more real. Texting doesn't feel real anymore. I hang out with people sometimes, but I just don't feel like doing it all the time. Why even post here? I have my diary. I think I only post here in order to be seen by someone that I am no longer in connection with, nor do I want to be. I was really awful back then. No boundaries in respect to other people, either. It was really bad. I used to think I had to kill myself to repent. I wanted to reach out recently, to apologize, but I realized after asking around that it would not be a good idea. Your personal growth will never overcome others boundaries. I don't like a lot of things that I have done. And I can never change them. I worry a lot about things that I cannot control. I feel bad for things that I cannot change. Etc. I usually don't. I don't think this website is good for me anymore. I just wanted to check up on an old project I had (this website) and I gave in to an urge. And now I feel bad. I want to make my website look nice. Have a sidebar, or something. Be minimal. Look cute. I can still have my own little personal website, I do not need to give anything away.