Playing roblox to fill the void. I know it sounds edgy but I don't care. I am trying really hard not to rip myself a new one. Not to rip someone else a new one. Not to do things. I think if Jamie wasn't dissappointed in me last time I would just do it this time willy nilly. I want to feel alive. I want to feel something. My life sucks so what's the point. The cognitive distortions are all up in my brain. I have skills but I don't particularly care enough to use them. The works. Nothing beats the real deal but roblox parkour obbies DO help I guess. I want to feel something. The little ding I get from beating each level kind of helps. My mental health just keeps declining. I wish I could exchange my brain with someone else. It's getting to be annoying, this mental illness of mine that will reamain unnamed. I am not even diagnosed with muhc, but I feel I know the issue that is occuring here. I shouldn't have told my roomate. they don't act right sometimes. I want to kill someone. I want someone to kill me because I don't have the guts to do it myself. SOMEONE DO IT!!! I"LL TELL YOU MY ADDRESS! HITMEN EVERYWHERE PLEASE UNITE FOR ONE SPECIAL PROJECT: ME!