I feel as though people do not truly care for what is on your website... as in, they don't care about the content. They just really care about the way that it looks. I love sites that look simple, no javascript, black and white text, blue links. It feels as though if your website isn't bustling with flashy gifs, images, CSS, and javascript, then people won't look at it. I don't know how to describe this feeling. I wouldn't say that I'm complaining, just that maybe I am noticing something that isn't there. I guess I also don't really know what exactly to put onto a website.. on social media, I would put my face, my day, no real construct or product that I created to hand over to society. Just a peek into my personal life. Despite this, I feel I have quite a bit of content within my site. It's a hard conflict of feeling. Not hard to experience, but hard to articulate. I feel as though I don't have "enough" on my site, that I need to have more. Maybe this is due to my insatiable desire to constantly build more onto it.. LOL.

I feel that even though my site is my ultimate form of self expression, you guys aren't getting the REAL me. Just an image of myself, things about me. Not truly who I am. Maybe the solution to that would be to create blog posts? I don't want my image on this site to be some distant thought of a real person behind a project. I want the project to be the real person. Maybe another solution to that would be to actually upload images that I find to be nice, to have a gallery of some sorts and to actually create link [8] as it's own little section of what instagram or bereal once was/is trying to be. I would post another updated room tour, but I don't like my room, and it doesn't feel like my room. Maybe my home page should consist of more recent events? Like current music, tastes, favorite things, little factoids you would find on a usual profile provided by another site. Who knows ! I don't want to seem like this overly-scholarly facaded thing, I just talk a lot. I have a lot of normalcy despite my inability to believe so at times.

I love all personal websites, but I find myself a little dissapointed by those that are simply links to their other social media. No other content, besides maybe a blog and just other social media links. Where's the content? Sure, it looks cool, but it isn't full, if you know what I mean. I want to see other well-lived in sites, not just a tour guide of their other social media sites. Those can be cool.... social media is a cool concept. I just don't really like to do it. Absolutely no hate on those that do. I don't want to sound pompous or stuck up in any way. I love self expression in any form. I really love when people take full advantage of a website builder and just go fucking crazy, make whatever their little heart desires. For now I will just keep trying to do the little things that I have on my Goals part of the home page. Who knows, maybe this feeling will change. If you have thoughts on this, feel free to comment on my neocities page.

Written November 9th, 2022.