I don't really think every thought has to be made permanent, something to dwell on forever, something that is always there.
So I'm going to make more thoughts permanent.
I feel free. Like I can actually move on with my life. I want new beginnings, not to dwell on the past. It feels really good to feel like a girl maybe? I am still unsure of everything completely, but I know that I am excited at the prospect of a lesbian relationship. I'm starting to talk to someone, and I think it is going well, but we will see :>) Soon they will go to a college that is an hour away, and I am curious if things will continue for that long for me to have to make a drive. If so, that would be really sweet. I don't really know what else to say, I just wanted to mainly voice that I feel free of my past relationships. I feel like I don't have to be stuck in any of them. I saw a bumper sticker that reminded me of my ex's and it made me feel.. weird, I guess? Just dismal, I guess. But I think it will be okay, and things will turn out alright if I allow myself to process. I do genuinely think that I have autism, and my therapist is hesitant, but idk. All of my friends who are autistic say that they think I am. When I went to my friend Clovers house for the first time, I left, and his brother said "Is she like us?". Really funny to both of us. His brother is cool, too. Miss him because Clover moved out. I got the CRT Monitor in the mail, and that makes me happy. I have two other packages I'm waiting on. And it got confirmed that I will be working next week, so I am excited for that. Never know what you have until it's gone, LOL. Just need money in my bank account again. It's a little on me for spending, but it feels good to know that I will have more.