I think I like being sober now.

It's a little scary.

It's far beyond what I felt a month ago,

Writhing in agony, looking for just one more escape

Just one more

Just this once

It'll be different, if you just

Cave in.

I still have to wrangle my impulses and urges

But it feels easier now.

I have to remind myself that relapse will make it harder for next time.

It was a beast within me, screaming at me, as I cowered in a corner, feeling powerless

It made me feel strong, to be able to take so much, to be able to do things that others refused

But it feels easier now.

I'm taking steps towards a life that I like

New job, new furniture, less social media, less constant escape.

Eliminating the near-constant, smaller, escapism makes the larger one easier to avoid.

It feels good.

In this moment,

I feel good.